Aaron, 34

My roommates have really loud sex and I don’t want to embarrass them by saying something — how should I approach this situation?

On tour, it’s hard to find privacy, so it’s best to keep the sound down. I’ve had sex right next to a sleeping band, and they either didn’t hear or pretended not to. I’ve also lived in places with very thin walls, and gotten my share of abuse for bringing home a howler. There was one girl named Wolf who lived up to her name. It’s all part of being in a family.

Sleeping with groupies on a tour — good or bad idea?

Its advantages and disadvantages are related to how into the person you are. Sometimes, you look like the perfect catch, since you’re only in town for one night. They don’t have to deal with the repercussions past the next day. . . but that can suck if you’re into them. Sometimes you connect with someone that you’d totally date if you lived in the same town. Then, you think about them for weeks later. Other times, you spend weeks trying to forget about them

This guy I really want is the lead singer of a band, but he always has girls all over him. How can I really catch his attention?

Don’t go for the lead singer. He’s got an ego the size of a planet and loves himself better than you. He also can’t get enough attention, which is why he’s a lead singer in a band. You’re not enough for him. Nobody is. Years from now, he will be hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, wishing he’d chosen just one of his adoring fans to be his alone. But right now, he’ll be looking deeply into your eyes, looking for his own reflection.

My significant other is a roadie and is going on a long tour soon. How do I make the relationship last?

This is a chance for you to test the limits. A don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy can work, but the problem is, if you assume he’s hooking up with a bunch of people, you might do the same thing just to avoid being imbalanced. Then, he comes back to find that you’ve slept with all his buddies while he hooked up with one girl in North Carolina. Feel him out, and if you don’t want him sleeping around, tell him you won’t and would be sad if he did. Or, just agree to be lovers when you’re in the same town… which is probably what he’s got going on in a few ports by now.

What are some ideal songs to add to my “sexytime” playlist?

“Trip and Glide” by Love and Rockets. “Butterfly” by The Verve. “Angel Sigh” by Spiritualized. “Untiedundone” by The Creatures. “All Cats are Grey” by The Cure. “Moments in Love” by The Art of Noise. Anything by Neu, Dead Can Dance, Thrill Kill Kult, or Mercan Dede.

What are the sexual benefits of being a roadie?

Well, I’m in great shape. Some people pay to work out, and I get paid to. When people see you doing really physical work, it’s inherently attractive — like, “He will defend my young.” That’s why handymen and delivery drivers are always the male leads in pornos. I’ve met all of my favorite people doing collaborative events. I meet other people who are really good at what they do. You can’t trade that confidence for any amount of hair dye. Plus, girls who know how to use power tools are really hot.

What is the ideal way to seduce a someone?

Sometimes the long gaze is all it takes, or, the prolonged physical contact while passing each other in a crowded place. A hand on the back that lingers, a kiss on the hand when being introduced. My dad used to read right out of a book called How To Pick Up Women, to the woman . . . but that was the ’70s.

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