Simon Hess, 25

This guy I really want is the lead singer of a band, but he always has girls all over him. How can I really catch his attention?

Lead singers are very egocentric, so you should constantly massage his ego, along with the rest of him.

My boyfriend is a roadie and he’s going on a long tour soon. How do I make the relationship last?

Support him and communicate a lot. I’m married, and you start your day with a phone call and end your day with a phone call. You call when you have your own time. You have to be supportive, you can’t be thinking terrible thoughts, you can’t be worried he’s out there doing things he shouldn’t.

What are some saucy sexual scenarios I can learn from a roadie?

Get really drunk!

This guy I’m seeing mentioned to me that he used to be a flasher but is “over” this bad “habit.” I’m kind of creeped out by that — should I trust him?

Yes, but watch for signs of perversion.

What is the ideal way to seduce someone?

Flattery and boobs.

I’m considering getting a tattoo but can’t decide where to put it. What do you think is the sexiest part of the body to get tattooed?

Wrists. But it’s got to be big, not just a little tattoo. I mean it has to be humongous.

What are some ideal songs to add to my “sexytime” playlist?

Judas Priest. Anything by Judas Priest is a winner, I promise you. I’m not even lying, Judas Priest is the best music to have sex to.

What are the sexual benefits of being a roadie?

I appreciate what I have. And I’ll leave it at that.

Interviews by Bianca Merbaum. Sex Advice From… appears Fridays.

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