twihard -noun. 1. Obsessed fan of the gripping vampire love story/adventure/thriller saga, Twilight. [urbandictionary.com]

Jeff, 23

I’ve been on a few dates with this smart, funny and totally cute girl. Each time, she’s ended up wasted. Last night, we split two bottles of wine at dinner, then she picked up a six-pack on the way home. I don’t want to preach, but I’d also like for us to have breakfast in bed when she’s not nursing a hangover. How can I talk to her without coming off like an asshole?
If there’s anything a Twilight fan can be sympathetic to, it’s certainly the thirst. Unfortunately, such a thirst for alcohol is usually unattractive. Try going on the wrongfully dreaded day-date next time, something physical like rock climbing or kayaking. Get her blood pumping and see if she can handle interaction without dousing her brain in wine. If not, it might be best to stay away and let her figure out some stuff.

What’s the best way to ask my boyfriend to use my vibrator in bed?
Bringing toys into the bedroom is a great way to spice up a monotonous sex life, but almost always awkward to initiate. You don’t want to come off as a sex freak or like you’re unsatisfied or anything. Just explain the benefits and pick up a toy he won’t be able to let go of. Girls don’t have all the plastic fun these days. Advice: fangs are cheap, sexy, and good for a scare or too. Don’t be afraid to get vampy.

Sex with my boyfriend is awesome, but he comes too fast. He says it’s because I turn him on so much he can’t help it. I love to think that’s true, but wish things could last a little longer. How do I slow him down without turning him off?
Think of this more like a challenge then a curse. Holding him on the edge is a difficult but highly rewarding task that should be fun for the both of you. The key here is to be vocal, making sure he expresses out loud where he’s at. Knowing that, you should be able to pause anything that’ll finish him off.

My girlfriend is demanding that I trim my pubic hair. I think it’s unfair, since I think she’s sexy no matter what she does down there. She claims that it’s not an option for her to stop trimming, since society holds women to different standards. I agree, but what does that have to do with my pubes? Who’s right?
Pubes, like most aspects of a relationship, are about compromise. Taking a few extra minutes in the shower to make things look the way she likes isn’t really a big deal, and it’s an intimate way to show you care enough to please her. This is a simple, direct, and low-cost way to earn points with the lady. You should be jumping at the chance!

My new girlfriend gets a little rough in the bedroom. The other day she bit my shoulder — hard! It was more disturbing than hot, but I love how worked up she gets. How can I tell her not to draw blood, without sounding like a wimp?
Everyone needs a good bite once in a while, but for most of us, there’s definitely a pain threshold we’d rather not cross. I always find a simple, earnest “Ow!” usually breaks the mood enough to get your point across without stopping the momentum. Or, she could be a vampire. A little blood isn’t such a bad price to pay in return for eternal awesomeness.

My roommate’s crazy about her new boyfriend, which isn’t a problem except that (a) the walls in our apartment are very thin and (b) she has loud, vocal sex in the morning. I’m all for her new relationship, especially since she’s shy, but I’d like to have my coffee without their backing vocals. How can I say something without creating an awkward situation?
Good for your roomate! Especially since she’s shy. If she were waking you up consistently with these antics, I’d say a conversation were in order, but this is the kind of situation iPods were made for. Let your roommate fuck in glory. Just put on some Magnetic Fields, and start making plans to out-scream her with your own overnight guest.

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